April 4

I am sorry it has been so long since I have posted. These have been difficult weeks and I just couldn't write. But at the same time I need to write.

These posts since the accident were never what we wanted to use the blog for. The blog was supposed to share the big adventures of our lives as well as provide the story of Sidney's life. Something she could look back on with fondness and happiness for the adventure.

I had my meeting with the staff at the rehab facility where Kirk is and it was heart breaking. Kirk will discharge next week and he isn't functional enough for me to bring home. Although he has made some progress with reading and is mildly stronger he is not able to be alone at all. He still has no short term memory and his long term memory is patchy at best. He is not able to say where we got married or when or anything about our lives together or before that. The prognosis is that he will not significantly improve from where he is. He will require 24 hour supervision indefinitely. He is tired and frustrated from working so hard and long at rehab, although this is something he can't express. But it is fairly obvious by his resistance to continue.

So I began the journey two weeks ago to find someplace for him to live where he can have the supervision he needs but also have access to the activities that make him happy, at least momentarily. Without going into great detail it was hard and saddening to try to find him a place. I did find a place to try. The staff there has been very supportive and helpful to working out the details and are understanding that this first try might not be successful. So although I have this place, I am continuing to develop back up plans.

So Kirk will move on Wednesday to an assisted living facility into the memory care unit. We don't want him in that unit for very long but we need to protect him during the transition. He left the house last Saturday and there is staff there who can follow him. But where he is moving, that's not a possibility. He also has been far more frustrated and agitated lately. Not behavior he has demonstrated before but also not unusual for a brain injury. Some of it has been triggered by medication changes but not all of it.

He has a doctors appointment next Friday with a new internist. I am going to really talk to them about his medications and what we can do to keep him content. I also want to make sure there isn't anything else we can do for him in relation to the brain injury.

The staff at the facility he is going to wants to see him transition to just assisted living. Although there isn't anyone as young as him, there are some younger, active residents. The staff does not have a lot of experience with TBI but they have been really trying to learn. As I said, they are doing everything they can to help us. And we are hoping that if Kirk is happy, he won't want to leave. We also are developing strategies to ensure he comes and goes through the same door every time and that door is not on the floor he is on. I don't want him in memory care for any longer than he has to be and I can't afford it long term.

Sidney and I are in Houston for the weekend. It's my opportunity to not have to take care of myself or anyone else. I think the move could be difficult for Kirk and there are still hard decisions and weeks ahead.

Sidney is doing ok. She feels the strain and although doesn't want to talk about it, I can see it in her behavior. She simply will not get very far away from me.

Please continue to hold us in prayer. Kirk is so very confused right now and I am so very sad. Sidney is also confused and struggling to find her place in this new life. I will try to get back to routine posts.