Happy Father's Day

This was to say the least a bit of a difficult Father's Day. Kirk has no concept of the day and of course no memory of anything you tell him. It has just resulted in us being a little sad. Sidney had a recital at an Assisted Living facility and there was a men's accappella choir. It was something Kirk was interested in and it made me think of his beautiful voice.

So I forgot to write about something that happened when I had to take Kirk tot he doctor two weeks ago. He kind of got mis-placed. He rode the van from Rainbow House down tot he Medical Center. The van was to arrive at the Health Science Center at 9 and I was there 15 minutes early. I waited for 30 minutes and started to panic. I called Rainbow House and they had put him on the van. I called the van place and they said that he was to be dropped off where I was. They said they dropped him off. In complete panic I went into the lobby and there he was. The staff at the clinic saw him and saw I wasn't there so they went and got him. My blood pressure was a little high.

Sidney went to camp at Mo Ranch a presbyterian camp near Kerrville. She had a great time. I was concerned about the adjustments she has had to make following Kirk's accident but she did fine and wants to go back. It was so much better than her first experience with camp a few years ago.

She had horse camp this week, 3 hours a day each day. She had some bumps with that in part to coming off the other camp high and adjusting to reality. We had a friend all week helping cart Sidney around and keep me in order. She was able to take Sidney to see Kirk twice during the week. I also decided Sidney needed to go back to swimming to get worn out because she was sassing me. But the pool was 35 minutes from the house in good weather. It happened that I ended up driving her there in an awful flooding rainstorm. We got there and she swam 2000 meters. My friend and I enjoyed the very nice gym and all was better. And it wasn't raining much on the way home.

I am taking a Spanish class. Two nights a week for three weeks, 2.5 hours each class. Its a lot to manage but I am learning and hoping to have a little bit of Spanish before getting to Peru. I am doing pretty good with nouns but struggling with verbs. I can make little cheats for nouns like cama is similar to casa and there is a bed in a casa. I know its silly but it is working. I have all my numbers and at least 75 nouns. We've also been conjugating verbs which I get but isn't easy to remember on the fly.

Speaking of rain will it ever stop. I know I am thankful but wet always.

Sidney is off to Grandma's this week. She leaves Tuesday and will be gone for about 3 weeks. I'll go get her from Houston when she gets back. She'll fly in there and spend a few days with friends and we will do some birthday stuff.

I am getting better at grilling. I have made steaks twice. Tonight's was the biggest sirloin ever. It was huge. I cut the t-bone off for a friend and cooked that to well done. The rest was medium to medium rare. I also made shish kabobs twice. They are pretty easy. And little mess to clean-up. However Sidney won't eat pork anymore. She is in love with a pig named Crispy Bacon and thinks pigs are brilliant. Hey, more bacon for me.

Parodies from 'Frozen'

for the first time in forever, it's not raining yet!
for the first time in forever I can fill the bird feeder without getting wet!
- Sidney (for the first time in forever)

don't let them in don't let them see
be the blue sky you always had to be
conceal don't feel
don't let them know!
well now they know!
let it rain!
let it rain!
turn away from the sun and storm!
let it rain. let it rain!
here i fly, in the height of the sky
so let the storm rage on!
the rain never bothered me anyway!
-  Storm Cloud (let it go)

Graduation

The first graduation has occurred. Sidney graduated from 5th grade on Thursday and will be off to middle school in the fall. I am really, really proud of her. She kept her grades up and did fabulously on her STAAR tests, scoring above the advanced level on all three tests. And it was such a hard year. Kirk's accident was only 5 days after she started 5th grade and a few months after we uprooted her life to move to San Antonio. And she stayed Sidney through it all. Because of her hard work she won the President's Education Awards Program Outstanding Academic Excellence award which is awarded to 5th grade students who maintain above a 90 percent average in all classes, have at least one STAAR test with above an advanced score and demonstrate outstanding citizenship. Did I say I was proud!

We also had a little party at the house Friday. It was really nice to have a house full of guests and everyone chipped in. Sidney was pretty funny though. She didn't like people being here after 9 pm. She kept whispering to me that they should leave, it was bed time. But for a change I had what I needed and she finally fell asleep. She quizzed me later about when they left.

We had our realtor over for dinner Saturday.  It was nice to see her again. I made a meal far too huge for three. I officially need to stop cooking. I have run out of storage materials. All of my Tupperware is occupied.

I went into the computer room last night and there was brown liquid dripping down the wall. It took a while to figure out what it was. One of Kirk's collector Coca-Cola cans had developed a small leak and was dripping down the wall. I think it took at least a few days to drip off the shelf. It was really nasty.

I made homemade tomato soup tonight. I had tomatoes and onions left over from the dinner party and Sidney isn't here to eat the tomatoes. It actually turned out really good but I burned the whole palm of my hand. I put the soup in the blender to puree and it was too full. Boiling hot soup came out the top onto my hand, as well as the wall and floor. My hand is sore but OK.

Sidney is at camp this week. She is at Mo Ranch, about an hour and a half away, towards Kerrville. The drive over was really pretty and really curvy. I am having a hard time adjusting to her being gone. Not quite sure what to do with myself.  I do start a Spanish class Tuesday night. It is 6 nights, Tuesday and Thursday night for the next three weeks. Preparation for Peru.

Another Move

I got Kirk moved on Wednesday from Brookdale to Rainbow House. How is that Brookdale seemed so right and turned out so wrong? Was I hung up on a name? I think it was some promise that wasn't met, some dream that will not be reality, some desire to have him close. The head staff, the Marketting Manager, the Operations Manager and the head nurse all quit or moved just after Kirk moved there. So many times I went to him and he was unwashed and wearing unclean clothes. Even the last day, Wednesday when I went to get him he smelled badly and was wearing the clothes I put him in on Monday.

Rainbow House seemed so overwhelming on my first visit. It is small and not new but it is clean and safe. Most residents are in wheel chairs and some are much lower functioning than Kirk. I think I wasn't ready to face reality at that time. It was scary and it was final. But now I understand the special needs of TBI survivors, the reality of where we are, and the dedication of the staff.  They want him to be happy and healthy and they know how to and are committed to making that happen.

We stopped and got his transportation ID on the way to Rainbow House. That will allow him nearly free transport to doctors appointments and day care if we start that. And then we were at Rainbow House. His new furntiure is nice and comfortable and fits in his room. I've hung lots of pictures and will hang some more. I think he has everything he needs.

He has had at least one episode of super frustration and the staff managed in in such a way that it was over in seconds. Brookdale would have made a huge deal out of it and it isn't a big deal at all. He plays basketball every day and they are doing memeory games to try to help him learn peoples names. Also on the morning after his first night they could tell me it took him a while to fall asleep but that he slept all night. I felt so much better knowing that he has that level of care. Everyone is for the most part peaceful. He does have a door that goes directly outside. That is alarmed in case he decides to go walk about. And he lives by a schedule. No surprises. We visited him this weekend and that went fine although he was sad when he realized we were leaving without him. Ultimately we snuck out and I am sure he forgot about us in an instant.

Sidney and I have had ups and downs. One up was her fabulous STAAR Test results. She exceeded the advanced expectations on all three tests, math, reading and science. And school will be out in 3 days. Downs are fighting over meals and expectations. She is still swimming and playing piano. And of course riding her beloved horse.

I had some success with Craig's List this weekend. I sold the bike Kirk had is accident on. The bike was virtually undamaged. And I was happy to see it go. Now for the other one. And I am adding the golf clubs and other stuff.

We will get our intern at work tomorrow. I am anxious to get a new young person in our group, even if it is only for a couple of months. And we get to go to Top Golf!

Sidney graduates from Elementary School on Thursday.  I can't believe how fast time has gone since starting school in Norway. This has been such a difficult year for her and I am so proud of her. She has managed to get through with good grades and some bumps and bruises. And she has kept her sweet heart and loving soul.

I am having a few friends over both Friday and Saturday and Sidney is off to camp on Sunday. I start Spanish class next Tuesday to prepare for our Peru mission trip.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers. We could not stay afloat without you.

Memorial Day

I apologize for the delayed post. It's been busy but that is always my excuse. I got Kirk moved to Rainbow House today. It was a fairly uneventful transition. I got him and his medications with some help from a friend and we were off. We stopped and got him his card to ride the bus and then took him to the house. You can look up Rainbow House San Antonio in the Internet to learn about it and learn about the residents. I have to admit my second pass made me feel much better than my first visit. I think my perspective has changed. He has a nice little room that although small is fresh and clean and bright. His furniture looks very nice and I know he'll get the care he needs. They'll understand what he doesn't remember and cue him as needed. 

I was very upset when I got to him. He was wearing the same clothes as Monday. Based on the smell, I think he has worn them since then. My anger at his care is deep and hot. There is no reason it should have been that way. He is sweet and kind and gentle. 

I had him Monday for a while to go to a barbecue at a friends. He had a nice time, we all did. And the weather held so we could hang out outside. The kids could swim and jump on the trampoline. 

Last week I got his ID card to replace his lost drivers license. That was actually pretty easy. Another thing off my to do list. Still have to work the VA though.

Sidney has a field trip tomorrow. She is struggling a bit to get through the year. I think it is fatigue as well as age. And it's been a hard year. I wish I could make it better.

So I looked through the the movie posters. I am too young or old or sheltered. I only recognized a few. Oh well. 

Please pray for Kirk to be happy or at least be content where he is. I don't think he understands why he can't come home and I think in some way he can't express it makes him very sad. Some of the residents at Rainbow seem very nice and I hope he can make some friendships with enough time.

Happy 17 May

Some of our happiest memories are from our time in Norway. Today is Norway's National Day. There will have been parades and celebrations. Norwegian adults and children would have also worn their traditional clothing. I saw some lovely pictures of my friends today.

Sidney and I survived a busy week after a no rest weekend last weekend. We had company this weekend and caught up on rest. I also got several different meals cooked and into the freezer.

I purchased furniture for Kirk this weekend. I will be moving him to Rainbow House at the end of the month. He can't stay in memory care where he is. It just isn't the right place and I can't afford it. This wasn't an easy decision and was made with a lot of tears. But they also rarely have a room and have had one open for two months. You can google the facility to learn more about it but it is a home for people with TBI. Some residents have been there 20 years. He will be well cared for in a way that needs to be with the schedule he needs and the constant supervision. And for now I can get him to daycare at least part time.

I have finalized Sidney's summer plans and could use some help a few times. The first time is June 15 through June 19 getting her to and from Boerne during the middle of the day. The second time is July 27 through July 30 to near the house in the middle of the day. And the last day is August 6 again near the house in the middle of the day. Please let me know if you could help.

I am also working on downsizing a bit. I have a list of items that I'll put on Craig's list but I thought I'd let my friends know first.

• Men's mountain bike
• Men's road bike
• Various sound equipment (no idea what some of it is)
• 1980's movie posters
• Older video camera
• Box of bike parts
• Various bits of camping gear including a stove and pans
• Table saw
• Router
• Remote control helicopter
• 10 gallon shop vac
• Raft and paddles
• Metal detector
• Two 48 inch wreaths
• Men's right hand golf clubs- complete set but maybe 15 years old and includes pull cart and bag

I'll probably come up with more stuff. I'm also selling the tandem and car roof rack. 

I am back with lawyers this week and I'd like to try to get Kirk a new ID card and his drivers listen every revoked. We are counting down the days of school anxious for the end. 

Happy Mother's Day and Roller Coaster Ride

First, Happy Mother's Day to all those special mom's.  Thanks for all you do.

The I am not happy pose

Sidney was in her first swim meet this weekend. This is really her first sport and real competition.  So it was a steep curve for us both. We left at 5 am yesterday for Corpus Christi and she swam three races yesterday. This meet was only about getting any sort of time on paper and the experience. About half the time she wasn't sure what to do when the various whistles and words were used to indicate get ready, get set and go.  She wasn't alone in this. Many of the youngest swimmers struggled.

I was a timer for an hour both days which is a pretty fun job but means you get wet and can't keep track of your kid. The bench moms help a ton and the older girls are responsible for helping the small one. Each small one gets a tall one.

There are two parent volunteer timers for each lane for every event, heat, and lane. So there are 4 ways a swimmer can get a time. The best is from he start horn and the pressure pads you swim into to stop your time. But in addition there are the two times from each timer and the pressure pad stop time from a button connected to the pad.

Some work to do on entries

Oh and there is body marking. Didn't know that one. You write a grid with E, H, L, and S.  Then you list each event by number, the heat number and lane number and stroke. Then the swimmer or anyone else can look at the arm and know what's supposed to happen and when. Actually pretty brilliant. I have attached a photo of Sidney's skinny little arm.

The suits are crazy tight. I had to pour her in. She swam three races today as well. She did a 50 meter freestyle as part of a 200 meter relay, a 50 butterfly and a 50 free yesterday. She did 50 backstroke, 100 free and 50 breast today. She won her heat on the backstroke and she was thrilled.  She got disqualified in the breast stroke probably for scissoring her feet. She'll learn. Many of the experienced swimmers had a DQ of some sort.

Start of backstroke

I really enjoyed watching her start to become part of the team over the two days. There is still a way to go but she was happy with her work and willing to continue working and rattled off the entire teams results one by one to me in the car not he way home. Oh and she's really tired so she'll crash.

Now the roller coaster. Kirk moved Monday to the assisted living and seemed to have a pretty good week. I got a call this afternoon that he had left the facility. He was found a mile away by the police at an apartment complex. I have already been looking for something different for him but this will motivate me more. He is getting fed and a bed at the facility but he can't stay in the Alzheimer's and dementia unit. And he can't stay in assisted living. They just don't know how to take care of him.

Body marking

Please pray for me to make some right decisions. I don't feel like I am doing such a good job with anything but particularly in making choices that affect him.  And please also continue to pray for peace for Sidney.  She is still struggling with this new reality and her whole world feels out of control.

She's in the middle - warm up

Happy May

It's been a busy week for Kirk. I met with the staff at Brookdale, the Assisted Living facility, on Monday to discuss moving Kirk from the memory care to the regular assisted living. He had not had any issues or exhibited any desire to go walk about. He has been content, easy to please and social. So we were all in agreement that he would be happier and do fine in Assisted Living.

There was a delay in moving him though because we had to wait for a doctors order. That took until Friday so hopefully he will move tomorrow. Oh and I have a funny. When I got to the meeting I saw Kirk briefly. He looked very nice from afar. He had on black pants, black shoes and a dark plaid shirt. However when he got close to me I realized his nice plaid shirt was his pajama top. Oh well.

I was out in the field on Wednesday and then Kirk had his eye doctor appointment. After three hours of exam, we are unable, as somewhat expected, to diagnose or fix his vision problem. His eye balls themselves shoe no sign of injury however there is obvious injury to the nerves and muscles of the eyes. Unfortunately he cannot communicate clearly enough to try to solve it. And reality is that he really doesn't need to see that well. There is not an issue with him squinting as needed. There are large defects in his peripheral vision as diagnosed by the visual field test but again, nothing we can do. They can even know he sees double but he can't express that well enough to fix. And he is unlikely to wear the glasses anyway. He no longer uses the cane and it was always a struggle to get him to use it. He can read the letters but he adds a "z" in front and at the end of many lines. He also commented that his shoes felt weird. He was wearing black shoes with white socks. I think that he is used to wearing tennis shoes. I also think I will take away his black shoes. He was wearing them with white socks and shorts on Friday. 

Sidney continues to improve in swimming.  She gets faster and stronger every week. She is still a stick. I know she is working hard because she is sore every day. We went to the dog park and play park yesterday enjoying the lovely day. I also think I forgot to add how fabulously Sidney did on her state reading exam. She scored well above the advanced average. Yeah Sidney. 

I have pretty much finalized summer plans. She will go to an overnight week long camp to start the summer. Then horse camp followed by a visit to grandma. She'll come back to Houston and visit friends for a few days. Then she has swimming camp and we'll go to Peru on a mission trip before Sidney starts middle school. I am hoping to ensure she has some downtime as well. 

Sidney had a recital this afternoon before stopping to visit Kirk and getting ready for another busy week. I'll have a trip to Austin this week and Sidney has an orientation camp at the middle school. 

Thank you to everyone who holds our hands on the downs and ups and helps make sure we can stay afloat. Our thanks will never be enough.