November 26

Kirk has had two pretty rough days. He is still extremely confused and struggling to trust anyone. He frequently refuses to take his medications. He is very agitated. Because of this we will not be able to get him tomorrow for Thanksgiving. We have never not had a Thanksgiving together all at one table. I think this will be harder on me and Sidney because he won't remember. We will go spend time with him in the morning but I need to figure out how to make him as calm as possible.

Please pray for this so difficult phase to pass. I don't know what is next but this is really hard. Please pray for him to understand we love and care about him and that he can trust all of his care givers.

November 24

I appologize for 5 days going by between posts. It's hard for me to even remember what has happened in the week. So this might be random. Sidney is out of school for the week and enjoying some time with various friends. And the weather is fabulous to be outside right now.

Yesterday she and I went to a state park called Lost Maples. There are many large maples there and they are just past their prime on fall color but still worth the drive and hike. We took Stormy with us and she did great. We had a nice hike and picnic lunch. We all got clean after we got home, including Stormy. We did a bit of work around the house before having dinner with friends.

Kirk's cousin flew in on Saturday to help Kirk's mom and aunt drive home. We picked her up at the airport after Sidney and I visited Kirk and had lunch with a friend from Houston. Everyone visited Kirk and then headed out on Sunday. They have just made it home.

Kirk is doing OK. He is still extremely confused about where and when he is. He knows he is not at home and he thinks at least sometimes he is living on a compound. He still uses Arabic interchanged with English. Or he just speaks Arabic. We think it is possible that he thinks he is in Iraq back in 1990. He reacts to helicopters when he had not prior.

We talk to him every night unless he falls asleep before we call. I am planning to get him and take him to a friend's for Thanksgiving. We will only have him for part of the day. Please pray for him to not be upset and just to know he is safe and loved. Pray for patience for me to know how to take care of him and to make the experience positive. And pray for Sidney to continue to love her father and to continue to be his biggest cheer leader. I am very nervous about taking full care of him for even a few hours. But I've got to learn sometime.

November 19

Kirk has been over at the new place for a couple of days now. The first night was confusing because he wanted to come home and there were so many changes that day. He didn't want to sleep in his room that night and fell asleep in the living room. He did eventually move to his bed. Last night went better.

His mom visited him today and I will swing by tomorrow. I did talk to him on the phone tonight. I was hesitant to do that because I don't want to confuse him more. But we had a pretty good conversation. Still a lot of word substituting. He has used a variety of words over time. Meme is his primary word. But he uses subscription, prescription, and others and today added masquerade.

I really want to check him out for a few hours on Thanksgiving. I am equally apprehensive. He seems reasonably adaptable and calm but what if something is a trigger. I am going to speak with his counselor at length.

Sidney and I are developing simple Christmas decorating plans that we can do safely by ourselves. It would be easy to skip all together but we both need a break from our new normal.

Sidney has taken up a project to make and sell book marks to give money to church, choir, school and animal shelter. I have been absconded into helping her fulfill her orders. It gets us at the table talking and working with no TV or thought of any problems. She is a sweet and giving child.

November 17

Kirk had a good weekend. We had a friend from Houston visit and he had an army buddy visit.  So there were several parties in his room.  He was back to knowing who Sidney and I were and being a clown.  He is being a jokester and if he were in his right mind his jokes wouldn't be funny.  Here is a picture of us from this weekend.


Friday I got home to this hole in my ceiling.  Nice, isn't it.  I had a leak from what I thought was the roof but it was a water pipe.  So it is drying out before they remediate and patch it up.  All the insulation was in the bath tub. That was aggravating.

Kirk moved today to Neuro Restorative.  This is a transitional care facility that is intend to get him able to care for himself.  He will be much more responsible for what has to happen dying his day.  This is milestone.  He is officially not an inpatient anymore and there is no more hospital ID on his arm.  He lives in a large 6 bedroom house and goes to a clinic for rehab every day.

His address is 124 South Winston Lane (I think). He can be visited after 6 pm on weekdays and during the day on weekends.  I'll get some more specifics up soon.

He has gained back some weight but I suspect he will loose some in the next few weeks of more intense work. I think he has gained back about 15 pounds.

I made chicken noodle soup last night. I repurposed some frozen chicken leftovers as well as some frozen veggie left overs. It was really good and Kirk's mom, aunt and a friend of ours ate with us. Sidney made dessert from a fruit tray, making everyone a slightly different smiley face.

Sidney is off next week but we still have lots to do. I am still trying to find various resources to help us for now and in the future. We will continue to need support of friends and professionals. We have a lot of learning to do still. Thank you for your loving support. I'll keep you posted on how Kirk does this week with all the changes in his life.

November 14

This is a super short update. Kirk won't move until Monday. He wasn't ready to go on Thursday and Neuro Restorative doesn't like to get folks on Fridays. This gives a few more days to get his medications straightened out. I have started getting his discharge medications as well as all the stuff he will now need. 

This has been a really rough and discouraging week for me. I have felt like we are back on a roller coaster and it has been very traumatic. Unfortunately this is far from over. Please continue to pray for us as we travel this difficult journey. Sidney and I are hanging onto each other tightly in a way I could never have imagined. And you hanging onto us means so much to us. Thank you. 

November 12

Happy Veterans Day a little late to all of our veterans. Thank you for your service.

Sidney and I and our friend went to Natural Bridge Caverns on Sunday.  This was my first visit but Sidney's third or fourth.  The caverns are not very big compared to Carlsbad but they have some nice formations and good history.  Sidney's favorite part of the visit there now though is the maze.  They have a large maze made of panels and you have to find 4 letters as well as the exit to get out.  The letters are CALF.  Sidney isn't speedy but she had fun.  I think I might have to try it next time.

We got a few more things taken care of after our visit to the Caverns.  We got Kirk some clothes he will need in the coming weeks and groceries.  We took Mediterranean food to Kirk for dinner and actually sat down as a family to eat.  It was a little funny.  First we had to argue with him to come sit with us to eat. He was "tired".  Then he started on his salad and I think because his salad was in a separate container from his meat he couldn't eat both at the same time.  He had to finish all of his salad first.  I put dressing on his salad that came in the cup, but not all of it.  And I left the cup in the top half of the container in front of him.  He apparently thought it was medicine and drank it. I could not make him stop.  I guess anything that comes in a little cup needs to be taken.  He also ate the stem of his pepper. First he ate the pepper and left the stem in the top of the container.  But then he decided to eat the stem also.

After dinner we just sat around the table and then played a game called Left, Right Center.  I am not sure he got exactly what was up but he did know left and right and where to pass a token.  But I don't think he is able to process the words. I wrote I love You and did not get any sort of indication he could read it. But he can write at least some things legibly. While we were sitting though we were listening to music.  There was a drum section and he proceeded to match it perfectly with his hands as if they were holding drum sticks.  He has always liked drum sections.

The feeding tube was removed today and we officially decided and have insurance approval for Kirk to move to Neurorestorative on Friday.  I am getting things ready for his move over there.

Please pray for us. Kirk has not recognized me at all this week and that is so very difficult. Please pray for a change in him, a spark of real memory that he wants to grab onto and run towards. And pray for strength and peace for me.

November 8

Kirk is just steady on at Reeves. I do think he will move this week as long as there is a bed at what's ever facility I choose. I looked at Mentis this week and will look at Neurorestorative this week. There are advantages and disadvantages to both so I will do my best to choose the right one.

Here is a picture of the three of us from today. It's a little blurry but still nice to have one as a family.

Kirk has had several techs with him that speak Arabic so he has been getting some practice with that language. They are all impressed with his ability to speak Arabic.

He has been doing a little writing and drawing. He wrote his name and then he wrote Sidney, daughter and Kimber, wife. It was completely his handwriting. I could recognize it anywhere.

He is mad at me because I don't eat dinner with him. Yesterday he to,d me to go home and relax. I said I would try and he told me I would do more than try. I did relax for one hour today. I got a facial and haircut.

I also rode my bike today. I haven't ridden since the day of the accident. Sidney was overnight at friends and I had a friend here. I did only 8 miles and it was physically hard because it has been so long but I was OK. It might be a while before I can ride again.

I also visited the ICU yesterday while I was at the hospital. It was my first visit since we left. It was nice to see the nurses and doctors and they enjoyed hearing how Kirk is. I still look forward to the three of us going back together to say thank you.

I also got some stuff done at the house like more pictures hung and a goodwill trip. Thanks in part to my friend and Sidney being gone. Of course that stuff doesn't stop so I am off to clean the fish tank.

November 4

Well Kirk was super sassy today. He is feisty and joking and generally trying to be up to no good. I came on to visit him today and he can count to 20 in English, Spanish and Arabic.  His vocabulary does grow each day but he still substitutes many words and continues to have traumatic amnesia.

He now requires constant attention. Not from a medical standpoint but because his physical capabilities far exceed his ability to know his limitations or follow rules. He had a tent around his bed until yesterday to keep him in bed when he wasn't attended and at night. However he is determined and managed to escape. So that was that. So he now has a sitter and is super sassy even with his lack of memory of short term events.

It has been a few days since I have posted. And we have been busy (imagine). I also don't get posts up everyday in part because I am exhausted. So in no particular order, here are the events of the past few days.

Sidney and I swim on Thursdays. She has lessons and I swim laps. But before the lesson we did a few laps of various strokes including the back stroke. We started at the same time and did two laps. She toasted me by one half of a lap. I am in for it. She is smarter than I am and faster at least in the pool. I'm so in trouble.

The other day Kirk did the alphabet by choosing a word that started with each letter. He only switched Yankee and unicorn. But almost every word was the alphabet you use for radio signals. I can't remember what it is called but I was surprised. He also just remembers how to do so many things by muscle memory. Like tie his shoes.

We visited him after church on Sunday and a good breakfast of pancakes. Sidney was giving him a back rub and he wanted her to rub lower and to the left. She went lower and to the right and he corrected her.

Speaking of escaping, Stormy escaped her kennel yesterday morning and spent the day destroying the house. She destroyed a pillowcase and duvet cover, slipper, and area rug. Considering she had all day the damage wasn't that bad. Sidney discovered her when she got home and called me in a complete panic. So we now triple check to make sure the kennel is securely closed.

And I have discovered all three pets, dog, cat and bird, all like the laser that cats like. So I can make them all shake their heads yes and no and the cat and dog can do it at the same time. Oh the little pleasures in life. And I am trying to supplement Rocky, the lobster, with some additional food to try to save the fish.  I tried carrot this morning and he ate that. I am going to try a few more veggies.  He and Kiwi like the same things possibly.


So the final bit of news I can think of is that I thought Kirk would move to the next rehab facility this week. But he continues to make improvements at this facility so he will stay most likely until next Thursday. But I am already setting up the consults for the two possible facilities he will move to and will visit them this week.  But he will stay at Reeves until he reaches a plateau.

So it has been a long time since I have been willing to take a picture of him to share. But I thought now might be a good time. He was just really lively today and I think it's OK to share now. I hope soon we will have opportunities to take more pictures.

Thank you for continuing this journey with us and for loving us through this.

November 1

Today is two months since the accident. Nothing is as I expected. But we are still moving towards whatever our new normal will be.

Sidney and I started our morning with a couple of hours with Kirk. We took him some coffee and chili. He ate and drank about half of each.  After visiting Kirk we got gas, car wash and groceries before heading home to make grilled cheese for lunch. I went for a quick run after lunch and then we made one more trip to Home Depot to get plants for the front. Carolyn and Barbara spent the afternoon with Kirk. We got the plants in, a coat of teak oil on some furniture, laundry done and dinner cooked. We will take Kirk some salmon and potato left overs tomorrow. And now I am ready to crash into bed.

Our lobster, Rocky, has devoured another fish so I need to figure out a solution. I don't want to maintain another tank but I can't afford for him to eat a fish every week and Sidney loves him. I am between a rock and a hard place. I just don't know what to do.

I have included pictures of the Mine Craft pumpkin and owl pumpkin I carved for Sidney. She loved them.

I also forgot to say that I am sorry I missed getting to say hello to so many of you in person while I was in Houston. I was pressed for time and there just was no way for me to see everyone. Please be patient with me until I get back. And thank you for continuing to support us.

We still receive little treasures in the mail from friends. Those small gifts make our days so much brighter and really keep us going. Thank you so much.

I took Kirk his glasses yesterday and they have already disappeared. Argh.