It's Been a While

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted. The last post was right after we moved Kirk. I am happy to say he still appears to be very content. He isn't sleeping very well so we are working on that. I'll give a further update on him shortly.

Sidney and I had a quite Thanksgiving. We didn't go get Kirk because I want him to settle in there. We delivered meals with Meals on Wheels on both Wednesday and Thursday of Thanksgiving week. It was wonderful to bring smiles to peoples faces. WE not only delivered complete meals, even with a small pie, but we delivered carnations, small Christmas trees and homemade place mats. It was really a lot of fun.

We shared a Thanksgiving meal with friends before having a relaxing afternoon and evening. The following weekend was fairly quite except for running Sidney to and from swimming.... It never stops.

There have been many changes at work. The oil field environment is challenging right now and many people have either retired or been let go. My boss retired and I miss him dearly.  It's just not the same....I need the change to slow down a bit.

Sidney was supposed to have a swim meet December 11-13.  Coach didn't get us registered in time and it turned out OK. Sidney's girlfriend in Katy had her birthday party that weekend and so I was able to surprise her with a trip over.  It was a lot of driving for a short weekend but we had fun. We also got to visit our old church in Katy which is always refilling.

Sidney has been having a rougher time at school lately. She is not turning work in and not getting very good grades on tests. I am frustrated and not sure what is going on. Hopefully a break will help us both get back on track.   We have been able to get in a little hiking which has been a treat. Stormy is happy too.

I traded in both cars the day after Thanksgiving and bought a new Prius Wagon. I am really happy with it. It is very suitable for us and gets great gas mileage. It is much bigger than the old Prius and more useful than my car was.

Kirk has had a lot going on in the last few weeks. He has had several doctor visits at the foster home and he has been one to the VA facilities several times. There are still more questions than answers but every doctor, nurse, and other VA representative I have talked to have been fabulous. They are caring, concerned and take all the time I need to answer questions. I have been so amazingly happy with the care he is receiving. The care at the foster home is provided with love and the care from the VA has been really great. Kirk spent a whole day at the hospital Tuesday getting tests. The doctor he was seeing specializes in looking at what a patient can do or not do and understand what part of the brain is affected and how. I spent about an hour on the phone with him Tuesday answering and asking a lot of questions. His work will continues but I have another name for a condition Kirk exhibits.  I already know the name for the difficulty with words, Aphasia. But I also learned that Kirk can write but he can't read, not even what he just wrote.  It is apparently a very unusual rarely seen condition that is making them wonder more about the head injury and if there is something else contributing to his problems.  The condition is called Alexia without Agraphia. More work will be done to try to understand what happened and maybe a why.

Sidney and I are off to Germany tomorrow. Yes, we are running away. Our niece and nephew invited us over for Christmas and we couldn't pass it up. The last time I went to Germany I came back with a broken hand, two black eyes and road rash as well as had an emergency landing because the plane had smoke in the cockpit. Hopefully this is a less adventurous trip.

I think I am starting to feel a hint of peace regarding Kirk and our lives. It is only a hint and is mostly about his contentedness and the care he is getting.  And it all has been just happening without me having to fight every step of the way. I don't think I have felt that hint during this whole long experience. I pray that it continues and grows ever so slowly. I still am heart broken and that will take a very long time to change but I would love to have peace with where he is and his happiness.

I hope you all have a lovely Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Thank you for loving us, standing by us, and even carrying us for another year.

The Move and Life

I had jury duty on November 2. One of the most boring days of my life. I ended up on a panel but not going to jury. So the good news is that I am off the hook for three more years. And I got to read a book.

That day was followed by three days of training. As it turned out I have had the training before. Apparently it never got recorded so three more days....

Speaking of work it has been rough lately. We had voluntary retirements and my boss and one of my coworkers are retiring. There are many other retirements and also a few layoffs. Really need oil to rebound.  And I found out that a beloved coworker in Houston died last weekend. He apparently had been very sick with cancer but it was fast also. He spent the time with his wife and grown kids. I went on many of my international trips with him and he showed me all over and around Aberdeen several year ago. He is from the Aberdeen area. I will cherish his memory in a special place in my heart.

Sidney's swim coach moved the team to a different pool some time ago. It is a good 30 miles from the house, all the way across town. It's a really great pool but so far away. I have help on Tuesdays which is saving my bacon. But still I drive her 180 miles each week to swimming. We are managing though. I plan meals that we can warm up in the microwave and never fast food. The meals aren't always perfectly balanced but they are usually leftover home cooked stuff. Maybe we will be able to make it through the rest of the school year....

Sidney and I finally completed East Brae in legos. I did Brae Alpha some time ago and it was a lot easier. I had to restart East Brae several times but I think it is finally right.

I have also had some help getting the Ford running. I drover her to church this morning. It was nerve wracking as I have not driven her in several years (Kirk usually drove since he was stronger) and I haven't driven her ever with just Sidney and I. We had one stall at a stop sign but we got there an back fine. I think the stall was just her fit after not running for a year and half. The person who helped me gave a small but special part of life back to me.

I move Kirk on Friday. I had some help from guys at work and we used one of their trucks. He doesn't have much stuff but it was a puzzle to get it all into the truck to minimize scratches and the like. It was very hard to say goodbye to Rainbow House. I know the staff were fond of Kirk. And they took such good care of him.

After loading the truck, we headed off the the new place. We took a minor detour and saw a lot of San Antonio because there are 2 Beverly Drives with the same house number.  Started at the wrong one. But we got him to the new house, run by Mary Ann. It is a VA Foster Home and she has three men who live there. One had a stroke and the other is a double amputee having lost both legs. And then Kirk is the last resident. The friends who helped me move Kirk really liked Mary Ann and she has sent me several pictures and updates. He seems very content. Because he is at a VA Foster Home he will receive visiting doctors and nurses as well as can have bloodworm and shots at the house. Also there will be a social worker, dietician and Chaplain who visit. Mary Ann will take him to meet me at any specially appointments so he won't get lost anymore. And the VA will organize Day Care if they seems like it will be a good fit.

My Box Turtle

Sidney has been doing really good in school. Well until last week which seems to be a flop. All A's at the end of the last 6 weeks which means all A's thus far through the semester. Hopefully with the break over Thanksgiving she can get back on the right foot.

Move Update

I am sorry I have been so delinquent on the blog. I certainly have not been doing a good job with posts. I think of so many things to write and then life interferes.

I visited a VA Foster Home for Kirk on Friday. It is a smaller home with only room for three residents. There are two men there already. The first is a 65 year old veteran who had a stroke. The second is a 46 year old double amputee. The lady who runs the home will go visit Kirk this week and make a decision as to if he can live there. I am quickly running out of time as he has to be moved by November 29, a day that seemed so far away four months ago when we found out Rainbow House was closing. I feel like I didn't do a good job looking for options. If he moves to the VA Home, many things will hopefully get easier including appointments and even the move because the VA will move him.

Sidney is busy which means I am busy. She had a swim meet this weekend, all three days. At least this one was in town which made life's easier and it only ate about 6 hours of each day instead of 8 or 10.  I have shared a video and some pictures on Facebook. Sidney gets yelled at in the video and it's pretty funny. All the kids get their turn of getting yelled at..... And yet they all love Coach.

She has been swimming outside all summer and through October. Yes the water got really cold in October. She comes out blue or purple. Coach had been looking for a pool and found one but it is a good long ways away. We are going to try it. I have help on Tuesdays and we will see how it goes. The concerns I have are really how to keep us fed and get homework done without doing it late at night. This life is a juggling act. And I usually drop something.

I am not sure if I wrote that I managed to fix the grill and a toilet myself and I changed the smoke detector batteries and furnace filters. Small things I know but normal things. I also feed us real meals that I cook immediately four nights a week and reasonable (most of the time) left overs on the three super busy nights.

Sidney saves me so many times and she doesn't know it. I am still deep in sadness and grief and wondering if I am doing the right things and making the right choices. She wrote me a beautiful note on a really bad day. On anther day I was captivated by her reading me poetry and she was so engaged and beautiful. She is such a loving, talented, smart, sweet person. Still a wonderful blend of Kirk and I. I also think back on our amazing life of the invincible three. It didn't matter where we were or what we did or didn't have, we were happy. And I don't know what comes after that as two....

I'll let you know how the move develops. I pray I am making the right decision but I never know until it happens.

Memories and Moving On

The memory in this case isn't Kirk. It is Matthew, my brother. Almost no one in our lives now knew him. He died 20 years ago today in a car accident. I think of him often and mention him rarely. And I often wonder what his life would be like now.

I need to tell more about Marbridge. It was a really good place but the concern was Kirk's lack of orientation to place. The complex is quite large and although he has not show a wandering tendency they were concerned about him getting separated from the group and no knowing what to do. And so that possibility ended. 

There were some really fun parts of Kirk's interview though. First he was asked if he liked to exercise and he said yes, that he liked to do push-ups. I had to laugh. He previously disposed push-ups. And he wouldn't give it up. They told him they had a nice gym and he said lifting weights was OK but he really liked push-ups. 

Then we moved on to music. He likes romantic metal music. They asked if he liked classical and he said yes but liked romantic metal better. The metal theme continued with art which he said he liked to do art with metal. He also said that although he wouldn't mind a roommate, I was his best roommate. 

I am not sure I posted about Sidney's last swim meet in Round Rock. She did great but it was a long hot weekend. 

Kirk had his first appointment with a VA Doctor today. It went fine and all his care will switch to VA. I am also looking at VA Foster homes as a possibility for Kirk. There is at least one I should be able to look at. It is a small facility, a house actually. I hope to have some possibilities soon. The advantage of a VA foster home is that either the caregiver will transport Kirk to appointments or a doctor will come to the residence. We will see what developed in the next two weeks.

Marbridge Is Out

I wanted to get this posted right away. Kirk and I had another interview with Marbridge today and he was not accepted for admission. I will start working diligently on the VA but please pray I can find a good and happy spot for him. I am at a complete loss at this time.....

Just Life

That's kind of where we are now. We are 6 weeks into school and Sidney is doing pretty OK. She had a swim meet in Round Rock this weekend. It was out doors and oh so hot. She did pretty good. She made serious improvements in her butterfly. That might become her strongest stroke. A swim meet means a weekend isn't actually a weekend so we are both pretty tired.



I forgot to put a few things on the blog post about Peru. The first was pocket bread. The second youngest member of our team and the perpetually the hungriest, often had bread in his pocket. He'd pick it up from breakfast or dinner and carry it around. He'd either eat it later (sometimes days later) or let one of us have it. Desperation of a starving college student. Sidney reminded me about it. She calls the team member pocket bread person.



I also forgot to write about the rainy night on our last night in Peru. The pastor of the church walked in and was wearing a fire retardant fleece with the big red Marathon M on it. The name on the jacket was David. I suspect it originated at a Marathon refinery. Amazing how far a give away can travel.


Finally I forgot to write about some mis-spellings on the menu at a restaurant. Pie was spelled "pye" and side dishes were "side pishes". 



On to Kirk. We have another interview with Marbridge on October 7. We still aren't very close to an entry and time is running by. I continue to pursue other options but there are few of them.



A year ago I was moving Kirk out of the ICU at University Hospital. He was still on a ventilator and tracheotomy and feeding tube. But he could offer a kiss and nod to questions.  It was really the first time that I allowed myself to think he would live. I also thought we could maybe start a new but different life. I had no idea......



The level of sadness and loneliness is still almost intolerable. I cannot understand why my feelings are still so intense. It feels like this started yesterday versus a year ago.  I think Sidney is fairly well settled into reality though. The impact of his absence is different than it is for me. She certainly misses him but it isn't as present and continuous.


Thank you again for continued prayer and support. Thanks for sticking by our side through this journey.

Kirk's Visit to Marbridge

I took Kirk up to Marbridge, the facility that I am hoping to move home to, near Austin for a visit. The goal was for a few key staff members to meet him and for him to have a look around. He did fine. He was cordial, extremely polite, and communicated well about his likes and dislikes. I also clearly saw that he could read. One of the staff members gave him a list of activities and he picked out swimming to ask about. No one read it to him. He also said he really likes basketball and he would like to sing and go to church. He can't come up with these ideas on his own but he responds well to questions and knows what he wants.

He toured the faculty and met some residents and staff. He also said he didn't mind having a room mate because it is someone to talk to. Overall I think the visit went well. There were a couple of funnies. First he told me I was a much better driver that he was. I replied with a remark that it took him 17 years to admit that. He thought the year was 1996 and that he was living in San Angelo. I think he did live there then. He used meem, his go to word several times but he usually realizes it isn't
right and laughs. He's just got a really good sense of humor.

We still have hurdles. He isn't approved for admission and there is a waiting list and no vacancies. I need to provide more information and probably have to go for another meeting. They really don't know that they'll have a spot before November. I have a tentative back up plan with the VA but I sure would like to move him only once more.

On other notes we are adjusting to the school year. Some days better than others. Sidney has activities Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Swimming and piano. And I am as busy as ever with work. She also of course has more homework in middle school. Other than a few minor glitches she seems to be doing OK. She certainly likes it. I continue to go through the ups and downs as the days go by. I am still so very sad and overwhelmed.

Peru (Finally)

8/7/15
Went to work in the morning to tie up loose ends. Took Sidney with me so we could leave straight from there. Made for an early morning though, up at 6am. We left for the airport at about noon and hung out at the lounge snacking. Our flight was on time from San Antonio to Houston so although we had to walk quickly clear across the airport, we didn't have to sprint and we could actually hang out with our group for a while before we boarded. There were four of us who were repeats from last year, me and three from Houston and four newbies, Sidney and three others from Houston. One of the newbies wasn't actually new to me. I knew him when we went to Webster Presbyterian before Sidney was born. There were four men and four ladies which was nice for the normal double room in Peru. We were short one person who planned to attend because there was a family emergency and she was very missed. 

Our Houston departure was delayed an hour (yes sitting on the plane boiling) to wait for 70 bags to be loaded from Amsterdam. Sidney and I had a ridiculous amount of leg room for the two shortest people on the plane. We were where the bulkhead used to be so we could put our legs out straight and not touch the seats in front of us. 

It was difficult and sad to leave Kirk behind. It obviously was not my dream last time I went to go alone or as only part of a family again. Peru was our last perfect Christmas. He did not know we were gone and seemed content at Rainbow House. He was playing baseball, apparently quite well, on the Wii when I called right before we left.

The flight was uneventful. Clearing customs and passport control in Lima is always great fun and supper efficient (just kidding). It took two hours to clear passport, get our bags, exchange money and clear customs. For some reason me and someone else in the group got to bypass bag inspection. Of course we had to wait on everyone else. Then we had to find the bus after chatting and catching up. This was all well after midnight. We finally fell into bed at 2 am. The bus ride to the hotel was eventful for Sidney even though she doesn't remember. Sidney fell asleep as soon as she got on the bus. Then the bus slammed on the brakes and there went Sidney onto the floor. It was one of those slow motion moments. She didn't even wake up. I got her back on the seat and then sat with her. It was super funny.

8/8/15

We stayed in the same hotel as I stayed in last time. A nice little hotel in Lima. However I only slept about an hour. Couldn't settle down and too much noise. I hadn't slept on the plane and I was super tired. We picked up Rusty and Sara, out in country hosts before we left Lima. 

We left the hotel at 8 to go back tot he airport. We caught our flight to Cusco and I was asleep before we taxied. The short nap was enough to keep me going in Cusco. Once we got to Cusco we checked in to the hotel, Santa Rosa de Lima Cusco. It is just down the road from where I stayed last time and was in another Catholic school. It is also close to the Plaza de Armas, the main square in town. We ate at a great little sandwich shop that had how and cold sandwiches, soups, pancakes, omelette's, and yogurts. I had a ham and cheese and Sidney devoured an omelet. Cusco is 11,000 feet and Sidney and I both did OK. Slow and breathless but Sidney did brilliant. Not sick at all. Our lunch stop also had wonderful fruit drinks. They were almost like a smoothy but not frozen. Very refreshing. 

After lunch Sidney and I caught up with our beloved friend, David. David was our guide when we were all there for Christmas 2 years ago. We got to see his lovely wife and his cute and very busy son. We had a nice time talking and playing, catching up on each other's lives. We were sitting in the square and Sidney got a lot of attention for her blond hair. Several Peruvian mothers and their children came up to us and requested a picture with their kids and Sidney. She was a sport about it but it was funny.

Unfortunately we had to part ways with David. Sidney didn't let go of David's hand for the entire time we were together. He holds a special place in our heart and I think Sidney holds a special place in his. 

We took a nice hot shower before dinner, the last one for several days. We ate dinner at a soup place. It was very nice. Sidney had a chicken and rice soup (which I should have had also) and I had a spicy curry soup (mistake). They were very good but mine was too spicy and I paid all night. 

On our way home we walked through the Plaza and got to see the ending of a wedding. It was wonderful. Their was a band and lots of people and an old Ford, from sometime in the 30's. We watched the festivities for a while before heading back to the hotel. On our way past the church we picked up a couple of rose pedals that had been used for the wedding. I pressed them in my journal. 

8/9/15

We left Cusco after breakfast. We picked up Urpi, our cook and a teacher, and Manuel, our interpreter on the way out of Cusco. The long bus ride to Ayaviri. We had one car sick person on the way up. Sidney and I played games and chatted. We stopped at the same fish place I stopped at before about half way to Ayaviri. We had stopped last time on our way back to Cusco. The fish was just as good as last time. Sidney and I shared but I am not sharing again. I as still hungry and it was sooooo good. 

The drive is always interesting. Peru has only one lane in each direction on roads outside of the city. Cars, bike, motorcycles, big trucks, buses and vans all share the road. The quality of the center stripe (dashed or solid) is merely a suggestion to be ignored when passing. It's very scary. 

The van dropped us off at the Hostel. It was very interesting. The first thing I noticed when we walked in was the bathroom. There was no door and only a half wall. There was a stall with no door, a stall with a door and two urinals with no door. Quite public. 

Only 4 rooms in the hotel had bathrooms attached and they were matrimonial (meaning one bed). Sidney and I don't share a bed so we didn't get one of those. I was also freaked out about the bottom floor so I request to be upstairs. So three people were on the bottom floor (one with a bathroom but the shower didn't work), four were on the second floor, and five on the third floor. 

Sidney and I had a weird set of stairs just outside of our doors. So stepping out could bee on one of three levels. I tripped regularly. The place used car wax on the floors. It took several days for the smell to dissipate and a couple of slips to get used to it. We had a ladies bathroom which was just a sink and toilet a few rooms down. It had a toilet seat (yeah). The men's bathroom didn't nor the the ladies room on the other end. There was one shower per floor. 

After we got settled we headed up to the church to work on some things we would need for Monday and to eat dinner. On our walk we saw a dog on a roof and a chicken on a roof. We decided then that walking was the best because you could see so many interesting things. We had polenta soup and chicken and rice, followed by some tea. We worked on sharpening pencils (100 of them with the most simple and slow sharpeners ever) and cut out pieces for learning games for the English class. We were all very tired and still adjusting to the altitude but we were having fun.

8/10/15

We started our morning with breakfast an a nearby restaurant because the hostel didn't serve breakfast. Sid ate two eggs and two rolls. I ate some cheese and rolls and had some all important coffee. We had four main missions for our trip this time. Teaching English and art to the kids, plumbing and putting the floor in the kitchen, teaching Godly Play and teaching women how to cook both healthily and safely. Three of the men were primarily helping with the kitchen. One had a foot problem and one had more effect from the altitude. And it is hard work to trench the church yard with a pick and shovel. But that got done on the first day. Urpi was teaching a two day class to women from up to a 4 hour radius. The classes were how to use the food available locally to cook healthy and tasty meals. How to use more than rice and potatoes, like carrots, onions, and yucca. She also taught how to cook safely. How to clean after you have used meat and how to use meat effectively in meals. She taught about boiling water and basic first aid.

Two of us and Sidney taught English and art. On Monday we had all the little kids and all the big kids in the morning together. It was 40 kids and the age and capability range was too broad. We sorted that out so that we had the small kids in the morning and the big kids in the afternoon. That also allowed the girls to help in the kitchen, go to Urpi's class or help with and attend Godly Play and the boys to provide much needed help with the physical work on the kitchen. For English we started with colors, numbers, and how to introduce yourself. The older kids had a decent grasp of English but they don't know how to say words correctly. The teachers in Peru who teach English also don't know how to pronounce words.

Lunch was a salad with beans, onions and tomatoes followed by soup and then chicken and rice. Peruvians have a saying, breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar. The biggest meal of the day is breakfast. We did more teaching in the afternoon before hauling out the sidewalk chalk and bubbles. The kids use the sidewalk chalk on the outside of the church buildings because there aren't sidewalks. 

Sidney was very helpful most of the time. She also spent a lot of time playing with the boys mostly. Dinner was chicken and rice with peas and carrots. There is one thing about the evening meal in particular as well as all the soups. There are almost no calories in the food. There is the broth along with the tiniest pieces of carrot and onion and the equivalent of two french fries worth of potato. 

After dinner we walked home. The hostel had no heat of course but it was much warmer than the one we stayed in last year. There were no outside walls or windows so our  hot air from breathing all night warmed the room up nicely. The room was also small. There were 2 twin beds in it and there was only the width of one twin bed between with just enough room at the end of the beds to open the door. The beds were hard as a rock and the pillows about a hundred years old. I used my immersion water heater to heat water in a water bottle that I had cut the top off of and then poured into two drinking water bottles, one for each of us to take to bed. It was time intensive but worth it to have the hot water bottles. 

Our sleeping conditions were pretty fine compared to the visiting ladies. They all slept on the floor of the church. They had a few really old and interesting looking mattresses and the outdoor toilets at the church. we were in virtual paradise.

8/11/15
Breakfast was bread and cheese for me again and an egg sandwich for Sidney. Oh and i forgot to mention the cheese was the local cheese referred to ass squeaky cheese. It kind of squeaks when you chew it. I love it but I might be an odd ball. The guys successfully got the new kitchen plumbed yesterday and the trench back filled only to see several leaks this morning. Until the leaks were solved and some other plumbing issues, the floor couldn't proceed past compacting the rock to prepare for the concrete. Numerous small errors from work done before we arrived needed to be fixed. 

We had the smaller kids in the morning, 12 and unders. The older girls attended the cooking class or helped in the kitchen. The older boys helped with the outside work. We worked on shapes, colors, days and months with the small ones and then played bingo. We brought several English learning bingo games. There were foods, transportation, school supplies, things in the home and about eight other games. The kids had never played bingo before and to be honest were quite baffled. It was a little slow starting as they tried to hear the English word and find it on their card. And some items aren't familiar, like steak. 

Lunch was a potato thing with carrots and shredded chicken in the middle. The potatoes were mashed and then a bottom layer placed in a pan followed by the goodies in the middle and another layer of mashed potatoes. This was followed by sheep soup which was as interesting as last time. It isn't lamb and it isn't cooked well. It is overcooked and dry and a mystery as to what sheep part it is. 

We had the big kids after lunch and we taught them days and months and then we turned up the heat. We taught them the various sounds that are different in English than Spanish, like h, j, l, ch, sh, th, ch, and wh. We also taught long and short vowels and the basic rules for knowing how to pronounce a word. They are sharp learners and put a lot of effort into learning. At meals they would sit with us and quiz us on English. It was really awesome. After such a tough lesson we started working with the older kids and painting. As everything in class was well under control I had to exercise my hard work skills a bit.

Urpi finished up the cooking class and most of the ladies left. Urpi gave me a lovely apron from the class. Dinner was potatoes and rice and single bite of unknown meat. Any meat at any meal is a treat for the Peruvians. We walked home and Sidney fell of the sidewalk (about 2 feet down). She was fine and handled it in Sidney style. 

Sidney and I desired a shower and our interpreter said the shower on our floor was fine. You have to pay for hot water so the person running the hostel comes and turns on what is supposed to be an on demand water heater. I suppose the water was not freezing cold like at the hotel we stayed in last year but it was far from warm. Luke warm at best. Sidney didn't much care but even she finally turned into a wet Popsicle. It was nice to be clean but burr. 

After our shower we actually got to snuggle in bed for a while and relax. Every other night has been a race to bed. One other interesting note about the Hostel. They actually have a fair number of Peruvians and Europeans who stay. There is no street parking but that doesn't seem to be a problem if you are one of the first 5 vehicles. They just park inside the hostel. And then everyone leaves in the morning. 

8/12/15

Sidney and I had our now usual breakfast and we had the little ones in the morning again. We taught body parts and food and the song Head Shoulders Knees and Toes. We also worked on some stuff outside. We had been letting them use chalk every day, blow bubbles (a hit) and color.  Lunch was more very tough sheep, rice with beets and potatoes, and noodle soup. Several of us gave our meat tot he Peruvians sitting with us. They were happy to receive. 

Because all the older boys were in class, the builders were short handed so I went out and worked with them for a couple of hours shoveling gravel. With one more person we had two shovelers and two wheel barrow runners so every one was moving with efficiency. 

However, I ended up with a shovel full of gravel in my face (bad timing) and had to get some big pieces washed out of my eye. Urpi took care of that in front of everyone she was teaching. But I wasn't her first example case. One of our guys had an ingrown toe nail while he was there and it was getting pretty uncomfortable. Urpi had him in front of the class and used one of the super size safety pins the ladies wear which she had sterilized to open the toe and drain the infection. She then got the needle searing hot and cauterized the area. This of course is happening with no anesthetic and our team mate was a trooper. It did help though and he did start to get better. The ladies were taking all sorts of pictures of the person and his foot. It was an excellent opportunity for Urpi to teach some basic first aid skills using what is available locally. 

We worked hard with the older kids in the afternoon and then we let them paint again. The older kids do amazing work. They pay attention to details and work really hard. In addition to the painting they were doing, the working helping with Godly Play. Godly Play is a way to teach kids bible stories using simple words and paper cut outs and characters. We took 4 set each of Zacheus and Noah. The kits come with several pairs of animals, people, and an Ark to cut out and color. Not only were they cut out and put together perfectly, the quality of the coloring was stunning and the excess creativity displayed. The arks were modified slightly be each group and they all added to the set up with local objects like cloth and wood and stones. 

Sidney started to really play with the kids after about two days. They all discovered they didn't need language or toys. Sticks and the buildings and stairs became the toys and play area. They were running, chasing and playing well. One time I also saw her with several of the boys in the church teaching them rainbow loom. She did have occasional trouble but not much.

The men got the floor poured in the kitchen really pretty quickly once the cement mixer was up and running. It was poured and level in a few hours. But its all manual. Everything there is. They pour whole roads with small cement mixers which are gas powered but are movable by muscle power. And all mixing is by eye. No measuring

Us young ones made a break for the market at about 4 in the afternoon. Wednesday is market day and the others had not been to the market in Ayaviri. It was of course fabulous. We tried several fruits (all that you can peel) including one with a hard shell and sweet and sour seedy fruit in the middle. We got called gringos several times and Sidney got attention that she so loves for her hair. We also had some yummy little doughnuts and some other small goodies before the rain, wind and hail came. We got a long enough weather break to walk back tot he church for dinner only to find out there wasn't any dinner. Urpi came through in fine form though to make squash soup for us and rice and syrup for the Peruvians. The soup was fabulous and the Peruvians weren't happy with their meal, not because they didn't get soup but Urpi told the cooks to put very little sugar in the rice and the Peruvians like is sweet. It was pretty funny. 

We went to bed very early. With the wind and rain we were chilled to the bone. I made the last set of water bottles and also some tea which we drank out of the half water bottle because i didn't have a cup. We took our last sponge bath and packed to get ready for Puno the next day. Packing was easy. It was either still clean (into the small suitcase) or amazingly filthy (into the large backpack). 

8/13
When we got up we realized we had a very sick person on our team with potentially serious lung issues. A plan for his care would develop through the day. Our last day in Ayaviri. We started with breakfast at the usual place but we had fried cheese sandwiches. I must have a high salt tolerance because I thought they were great. Everyone else thought they were too salty. We also had our last mixed juice, papaya and pineapple. 

After breakfast we went up to the church up above Ayaviri and the look out. It was surprising how big Ayaviri is. We see only a few blocks when we are working there. 

We had a lot of help with our English class in the morning. The kitchen work was as done as our team could do and there was only Godly Play going on. It was really nice to have some extra help with the small ones. And I think the men who hadn't been in the class enjoyed the fun and youthfulness. 

We shared our last lunch of soup, meat, veggie salad and potatoes with our Ayaviri team. Then we had our closing ceremony. We left Ayaviri a lovely quilt a church member had made and we had all signed as well as all of our left over supplies and a gift from a team member last year who couldn't come this year. They gave each of us a scarf or shawl. Sidney got a white and purple scarf and I got a green shawl. They will bee worn with joy and love. Three of the older girls also gave some of us their paintings.. Candy gave me hers. Susan gave one to Anya, a team member from last year's and Sandra gave Alyssa hers. They were each lovely and a huge and touching surprise. We said our goodbyes and got on the very slow bus to Puno.

We drove through Julicaca on our way to Puno and I had forgot what a crazy city it was. It started as a small town and never had the infrastructure of Lima. Traffic was insane. Three lanes where two would actually fit. It is not uncommon, actually expected for cars to turn right as a bus or truck is turning right. Sheer craziness. 

We went into shock at the Puno hotel. It was the Conde de Lemos Hotel and was maybe $80 per night but amazing compared to where we had been. There were doormen who unloaded our luggage and took it to our rooms. There were glass doors and wood floors. Elevators and heat. Toilet paper and hot water with a shower actually in the bathroom attached tot he room. There was WiFi and breakfast. Utterly overwhelming. 

WWe settled in and went to dinner. Sidney and I each had pizza. The others had Kingfish or chicken. It was all yummy and maybe $8 a plate. After dinner we fell into bed. 

8/14
Unfortunately my time in bed didn't last. I had an awful night with diarrhea starting at about midnight and not stopping until 7 am. I took the max dose of Imodium to limited avail. This was as sick as I have ever been with travelers diarrhea. I woke out roommate up at 6 to ask if she would go get antibiotic. She actually had some with her so I took a double dose. I would alternate hot and cold and had hardly enough energy to shower. I could do a simple task and then rest. Our very ill person, with breathing problems, headed off to Lima. It was the only thing that would make him better. We were sad to see him go but knew we would see him the next day and also knew it is what he needed to do to get better.

I did get on the boat to go to the islands. I took a single piece of bread and laid down as soon as I got on the boat. I didn't sleep but had a good rest and the antibiotic started to work. I could at least get off the boat and walk around on the floating islands. For one who haven't read our Peru blog post from 2013, we went to Lake Titicaca. It is the highest navigable lake in the world. It is maybe 12,000 feet and is a very big lake, bigger than the Dead Sea. There are islands that have been built of reeds. They float. The island is anchored by a pole so it doesn't float away with the bottom being reed roots with layers of reeds on top. People built these long ago to a escape war and suppression. And people still live on these islands, the islands of Uros. The islands will lady about 25 years. They require new reeds every week. There is solar and wind power. People live in primitive huts of wood or reeds. Sometimes more than 5 people live in a 15 by 15 foot hut. There's is elementary school on the islands and the bathrooms are in central locations where a septic system has been installed. Water is brought back by fishermen from the middle of the lake where the water is clear. Women and men make handy crafts to sell to tourists. 

After our. Is it to the floating islands, we went to one of the actual islands in lake. This was a three hour boat ride. I rested again and ate my bread. We had a long steep hike ahead of us. And it was a long hike. I almost didn't make it with no food, dehydrated, and still recovering. But I am glad I went even though I had been before. The group all had traditional fish for lunch. I had rice. 

We learned some about the special hats and other clothing worn on the island. The men knot their hats and if it is red and white they are single. When a lady has interest, she will pour water into the man's hat along with inspecting the knitting. If the hat holds water, he is a start of being acceptable. Married men wear a hat, these are like stocking caps in shape, that is always red. The ladies will knit a coca leaf bag for the men. In addition the lady will cut her hair, which likely has never been cut before, to make to weave into a belt she will make for her husband. The belt is like a wedding ring. She will cut her hair again later one more time to make hair extensions for her husband. 

All ladies wear a black cape or shawl. The single ladies are supposed to wear it with their faces covered except for the eyes. Now the capes are usually only worn at the weddings but single ladies also used to have large poms on the cape where they could put coins to use a weight if needed to defend herself. Married ladies have smaller poms because they don't need to protect themselves. 

We also watched how wool is cleaned using the soap made from a cactus. The cactus, more like a succulent is ground to a paste and then put into a small piece of cloth. The wool came out quite clean. 

I didn't notice when we got back on the boat because I needs to rest again but we had another team member who actually needed some oxygen. He was on the oxygen for a few hours but was OK afterwards. So many people needs to get to lower altitude the next day.

After we got back to the hotel we needed to find something to get out paintings home in one piece. It was an adventure of going to dozens of stores and asking on bad Spanish for a tube. We finally found one at a poster store. I had found saltines earlier which was allowing me to live. 

Sidney and I shared plain spaghetti for dinner, just butter and salt. I needed some simple calories. We went back to our very nice hotel and crashed. We had a late morning the next day so we could sleep and then pack in the morning.

8/15
I slept much better. Sidney of course slept great. I ate two olives and a piece of cheese with my bread and crackers for breakfast. After that we were off to Lima. We talked a both the reeds again on our way out. The reeds are part of a national park. the Uros people maintain the reeds and burn them as needed, much as a farmer would do a field. Some Uros live on land and farm.  We stopped at an overlook on the way for Puno to the airport to see the reeds and Puno. 

We had a nice bus to Julicaca to the airport. Sidney also got a new lama to replace the one Stormy ate. She named this one silky because he had long hair. 

I slept on the plane to Lima. We left the hotel at 10 am for our 28 hours of travel. We wondered about Lima for several hours. We ended our visit at a nice dinner at a great hamburger place. Sidney and I had the best Mac and cheese ever there. That is the other thing the restaurant is known for. 

Our day would stretch long into the next. Our flight was to leave at 12:35 am. It left at 2:35 am instead. Ugh. Sidney didn't much care. She slept on the U.S. And then slept on the floor (yes hard tile) in the airport. And finally on the plane. I slept for maybe an hour or two on the plane. 

8/16
We arrived in Houston fine. I was a little sick again on the plane and wasn't sure Id live to the next flight. Sidney was very helpful and sweet. We were well into our 28 hours of travel and 2 baggage claims down. We made it home, and our final baggage claim at 1:30 pm. We had to pick up Stormy and get groceries. I didn't even unpack. Sidney got to do that the next day while I was at work. We had soup for dinner and went to bed. It would be several more days before I gained my strength back and could eat normal food. I lost 5 pounds overall. Sidney who was fine lost 1. 

Yes, we are crazy but we can't wait to go back. We love the people of Ayaviri and the work we do. 

I have included a couple of pictures from Sidney's bug camp.

I also need to update on Kirk. I realized that my last post was heart broken, which is how I felt at the time. Mar bridge is a good place and I will try to get Kirk there. There are many hurdles still before that can happen. Last Tuesday I could not separate the anniversary from the pain of finding another place that isn't home and the continued missing of Kirk. It's just not terribly easy still and no mater how good the place is it is still different from our past lives. I am hoping to get Kirk up there for a visit late this week or early next week. It is the next step. I will also be looking at VA homes, I hope. 

The Unknown and Sadness

Kirk's mom and I went up to Marbridge today. I am not sure it went as I expected nor was it what I expected. It is a very nice facility with the majority of residents not having a brain injury, but other cognitive impairments, most since birth. There are several levels of care including a skilled nursing facility and a part called the Ranch. Kirk would likely live in the Ranch if he becomes a resident. The Ranch is shared bed rooms, maybe 16 rooms in the building we visited with two relaxation areas, a garden, a recreation room and an eating area. We met several residents and they were all very nice although some very special in some ways. One resident calculates your age very quickly if you tell him when you were born. I have no idea what Kirk would feel like living there. That building is much larger than Rainbow House. There are many classes, activities, games, bible studies and church options. There are green houses and gardens and animals. In the beginning it might be very overwhelming to him.

But we are there yet on this being anywhere near final. First there is no room right now. All places are full and there is one person on the waiting list. Second he is not accepted yet. They have to look at his records more and see him in person at the facility as well as hold a meeting to decide if he is a fit.

And so I have to look at other options and I have no peace of mind yet. I will be pursuing the VA again to investigate VA foster homes. I feel no relief and still a great deal of stress. And I still feel alone. Few if anyone even there is a husband and father. Few have lived a normal life until an instant in time. Few have a wife and daughter. Most have mothers, fathers, or siblings as their caregivers.

And the accident was one year ago today. I don't even know how to process that. I am so very sad. I am confused and lonely and feel like I am struggling to make decisions. Even on that very difficult life changing day this is not any possibility of what I envisioned. Those were days when I would not allow myself to think he would live. And then I knew he would live and I thought that our lives would be vastly different, but not this way. When will we be "normal" again?

Please don't stop praying for us or loving us. We still need our army of help and love.

Peru, Possibilities, Birthdays

No this isn't the post for Peru. It's coming soon. I promise. We are alive and adjusting back to normal.  School has started and Sidney turned ten. Also Kirk's mom is here for a few weeks. We will be making a trip up to a place called Marbridge to see if it is a good place for Kirk to live next Tuesday. It seems like it might be a really good fit, although farther away. But it is somewhere he could live for the rest of his life (for real this time). It is our current best hope.

He will also now receive health care benefits from the VA. It is a new road so I have a lot to learn. Kirk was deemed catastrophically disabled by the VA and moved to Group 4.

Like I said, I'll get Peru up soon. Please pray for the trip to Marbridge to be successful. I'll give more details as soon as I can.

It Takes a Village

We have all heard it takes a village to raise a child. But it also takes a village to keep our family going. It takes the ones who have sat at the hospital with me, brought food, driven us somewhere, done research, prayed and loved. It is the ones who have loved Sidney and I constantly and those who watch over us to make sure we are OK. Thank you.

We are going off the grid tomorrow. We leave for Peru mid-day and my goal is to only watch for emergencies on my phone. Stormy is at a boarding home and the neighbors will care for the rest. Kirk is stable. 

I'll take pictures and notes so I can put an old fashioned post up when we get back. One like they used to be. Full of adventure and fun. We are looking forward to giving back. We have received for nearly a year and for a short week we can give with love. 

Pray for our safety, health, and for some peace while we are gone. Oh and pray we stay warm. It's winter and 14,000 feet! No heat, no hot water.

Searching

I have called 7 or 8 places to look for a place for Kirk and have struck out on all. Either they are post acute rehab or far out of my price range and too active or large for Kirk. I have a call into one more possibility but then I will have run through all of my ideas and the ones you all have provided. I'm still working with the VA to try to get him into a Veteran Foster home but I haven't had success yet. I also will start to look at smaller assisted living homes around. I a also attended a family meeting to discuss ideas to salvage Rainbow House but I am afraid it won't be successful. I am scared and sad and unsure again about the future.

On a lighter note Sidney went to bug camp this week. I'll have to get the pictures of her holding a tarantula and snake. She had a great time and wants to do it again next year. We are currently in Corpus Christi for a swim meet. She swam three events today and was faster in each. It was a long day. We were at the pool at 6:30 and left at 4:30, tired and hungry. We don't have to be as early tomorrow but also don't know when we can head home. She's in at least three more events.

We head to Peru Friday. We are looking forward to the trip. We are packed if you consider all our stuff piled on the living room table to be packed. I need to figure out what I'll stuff it all into.

I'll try to get a post up before we leave. Please don't stop praying or thinking of ideas.

Square One

These have been tough weeks. I went to Houston last week in part to deliver the tandem back to where we bought it so it can be sold. We were the family that biked together to stay together. So many happy times happened on bikes. I hope that the lovely bike with rainbow wheels built for our family will make another family happy memories.

I did get Sidney back while I was there and we went to Space Center with a few of Sidney's friends and we had a nice dinner out. We went to church in Katy and headed back to San Antonio.

Sidney swam all week last week. 4 or so hours a day. She went to sleep really easy.

But onto the harder stuff. Our 17th anniversary was Saturday. It was very difficult. I miss Kirk so very much and I didn't.t tell him enough when it mattered how much I appreciated him.

Rainbow House, where Kirk has been living the last few months, will be closing in November. Most of the residents are on Medicare and the facility has not received increase in funding in many years while expenses continue to increase. In addition they have had turnover in staff at a high rate. And so they must close and 13 residents, including Kirk need to find a new home. Please pray. It was hard to find this place and we know what won't work. It seemed like we had found a place that was safe and could care for him. How do I find a new place? Please ask friends, look on the Internet, anything that you can think of. I am willing to try Houston and Austin if needed. I am tired and overwhelmed and just want the best for him. I am going to continue with the VA, talk to Alamo Head Injury and DARS and Kirk's Psychiatrist (more on that later). I'll take any idea.

Thank you again for standing by us. We could not go this alone.

Happy 4th of July

Without Sidney, things are pretty quiet. Stormy and I went on a long hike Friday. We were at the park early so other the the birds and butterflies we were alone until the end. We went to Government Canyon here in San Antonio. It was about a 20 minute drive for miles of trails. I wore good shoes but bad socks and ended up with impressive blisters. Stormy slept all day when we were done.

I went to two different friends on July 4. It was nice to have a break from the house. My one friend has four girls under the age of 5. It was not quiet but it was fun. I got home before fire works to make sure cat and dog were OK. They honestly couldn't care less about the fireworks.

Sunday has been a chill at home after church day. Life is going to get very busy again this week.

I got Kirk to the dentist this week. His teeth are in good shape. Nothing broken, no cavities. I will be taking him to a psychiatrist this week to try to get his mood stabilized a bit more. He is on a couple of medications that worked for a while but they aren't good for long term. The doctor we will be seeing specializes in head injuries.

I'll head to Houston on Friday to get Sidney. I'll also be taking the tandem to put on consignment and some tools to a friend. I am ready to get Sidney back. We are going to get some crab on Friday at Truluck's. We also will go to Space Center Houston for Sidney's birthday. A month early but it is the best time for us to be in Houston. We'll be going with her girl friend from Katy. Then church Sunday and back to San Antonio and the grind.

Sidney has a week full of swim lesson's next week and I have a bunch of work stuff that will keep me at work late one night and in early the next day so I am trying to find some help. It's turning out to be a little difficult. I hate having to ask for help all the time but I have to. I can't be in two places at once.

June 28

This is just a quick update. Sidney is with her Georgia Grandma, Kirk's mom, in Florida. I dropped her off at the airport Tuesday. As I was backing out my parking space someone else backed into me. Yeah. There is just a small dent in the fender of the Prius. One of many dents.

I got the landscaping lights put in yesterday. It wasn't hard but it did take a while. I wanted to make sure I got it on the first go. It took about 3 and a half hours and I had to go get more wire. I think it looks nice and I am a little proud of myself. Today I am going to go help a friend move.

My friend was here a while back and took some fun shots of Shandy, Sidney and Stormy. I couldn't resist putting the pets in both with their tongues out. And the hummingbird shots were really cool because it slowed down the wings so you could see them. At the bottom are a couple of pictures of the lights, one under each tree and 4 down lights. And Kirk got to see her dad a couple of times two weeks ago. They took Stormy also and had a nice time.

It will be another busy week at work but at least it's only a four day week. Hope everyone has a great 4th of July.

Happy Father's Day

This was to say the least a bit of a difficult Father's Day. Kirk has no concept of the day and of course no memory of anything you tell him. It has just resulted in us being a little sad. Sidney had a recital at an Assisted Living facility and there was a men's accappella choir. It was something Kirk was interested in and it made me think of his beautiful voice.

So I forgot to write about something that happened when I had to take Kirk tot he doctor two weeks ago. He kind of got mis-placed. He rode the van from Rainbow House down tot he Medical Center. The van was to arrive at the Health Science Center at 9 and I was there 15 minutes early. I waited for 30 minutes and started to panic. I called Rainbow House and they had put him on the van. I called the van place and they said that he was to be dropped off where I was. They said they dropped him off. In complete panic I went into the lobby and there he was. The staff at the clinic saw him and saw I wasn't there so they went and got him. My blood pressure was a little high.

Sidney went to camp at Mo Ranch a presbyterian camp near Kerrville. She had a great time. I was concerned about the adjustments she has had to make following Kirk's accident but she did fine and wants to go back. It was so much better than her first experience with camp a few years ago.

She had horse camp this week, 3 hours a day each day. She had some bumps with that in part to coming off the other camp high and adjusting to reality. We had a friend all week helping cart Sidney around and keep me in order. She was able to take Sidney to see Kirk twice during the week. I also decided Sidney needed to go back to swimming to get worn out because she was sassing me. But the pool was 35 minutes from the house in good weather. It happened that I ended up driving her there in an awful flooding rainstorm. We got there and she swam 2000 meters. My friend and I enjoyed the very nice gym and all was better. And it wasn't raining much on the way home.

I am taking a Spanish class. Two nights a week for three weeks, 2.5 hours each class. Its a lot to manage but I am learning and hoping to have a little bit of Spanish before getting to Peru. I am doing pretty good with nouns but struggling with verbs. I can make little cheats for nouns like cama is similar to casa and there is a bed in a casa. I know its silly but it is working. I have all my numbers and at least 75 nouns. We've also been conjugating verbs which I get but isn't easy to remember on the fly.

Speaking of rain will it ever stop. I know I am thankful but wet always.

Sidney is off to Grandma's this week. She leaves Tuesday and will be gone for about 3 weeks. I'll go get her from Houston when she gets back. She'll fly in there and spend a few days with friends and we will do some birthday stuff.

I am getting better at grilling. I have made steaks twice. Tonight's was the biggest sirloin ever. It was huge. I cut the t-bone off for a friend and cooked that to well done. The rest was medium to medium rare. I also made shish kabobs twice. They are pretty easy. And little mess to clean-up. However Sidney won't eat pork anymore. She is in love with a pig named Crispy Bacon and thinks pigs are brilliant. Hey, more bacon for me.

Parodies from 'Frozen'

for the first time in forever, it's not raining yet!
for the first time in forever I can fill the bird feeder without getting wet!
- Sidney (for the first time in forever)

don't let them in don't let them see
be the blue sky you always had to be
conceal don't feel
don't let them know!
well now they know!
let it rain!
let it rain!
turn away from the sun and storm!
let it rain. let it rain!
here i fly, in the height of the sky
so let the storm rage on!
the rain never bothered me anyway!
-  Storm Cloud (let it go)

Graduation

The first graduation has occurred. Sidney graduated from 5th grade on Thursday and will be off to middle school in the fall. I am really, really proud of her. She kept her grades up and did fabulously on her STAAR tests, scoring above the advanced level on all three tests. And it was such a hard year. Kirk's accident was only 5 days after she started 5th grade and a few months after we uprooted her life to move to San Antonio. And she stayed Sidney through it all. Because of her hard work she won the President's Education Awards Program Outstanding Academic Excellence award which is awarded to 5th grade students who maintain above a 90 percent average in all classes, have at least one STAAR test with above an advanced score and demonstrate outstanding citizenship. Did I say I was proud!

We also had a little party at the house Friday. It was really nice to have a house full of guests and everyone chipped in. Sidney was pretty funny though. She didn't like people being here after 9 pm. She kept whispering to me that they should leave, it was bed time. But for a change I had what I needed and she finally fell asleep. She quizzed me later about when they left.

We had our realtor over for dinner Saturday.  It was nice to see her again. I made a meal far too huge for three. I officially need to stop cooking. I have run out of storage materials. All of my Tupperware is occupied.

I went into the computer room last night and there was brown liquid dripping down the wall. It took a while to figure out what it was. One of Kirk's collector Coca-Cola cans had developed a small leak and was dripping down the wall. I think it took at least a few days to drip off the shelf. It was really nasty.

I made homemade tomato soup tonight. I had tomatoes and onions left over from the dinner party and Sidney isn't here to eat the tomatoes. It actually turned out really good but I burned the whole palm of my hand. I put the soup in the blender to puree and it was too full. Boiling hot soup came out the top onto my hand, as well as the wall and floor. My hand is sore but OK.

Sidney is at camp this week. She is at Mo Ranch, about an hour and a half away, towards Kerrville. The drive over was really pretty and really curvy. I am having a hard time adjusting to her being gone. Not quite sure what to do with myself.  I do start a Spanish class Tuesday night. It is 6 nights, Tuesday and Thursday night for the next three weeks. Preparation for Peru.